Self Sabotage

How many of us do this? Seriously there is no way any one of us can say we haven't given in to this monster. And that is exactly what it is! I have been thinking about this a lot lately as I journey on the weight loss wagon. While I have medical conditions that do affect my weight; what can I do to overcome some of my own bad habits. I could blame all my problems on my Severe Anxiety, my Depression, my Endometriosis and the stupid games my Thyroid likes to play on my body ( one month normal the next hypo, the next borderline- my thyroid has some serious bi-polar issues going on- not a stab at those of you with bi-polar disorder) With these come some crazy emotional train rides. I am not without the crazy.

Anyway, while I know I need to take these conditions/illnesses into consideration while working on diet, exercise, and mental/ spiritual well-being. I ought to think about those things I CAN actively work on changing that are in the self sabotaging category. A lot of the work is recognizing denial and accepting you have some weaknesses you gotta work on, but! Also making sure we develop our strengths as well. How we go about this varies per person. I am not about to give advice on how this is done. I am still trying to figure this out for myself. Individual as we are; I can't say I have any right to advise. I can, however share my thoughts.

First is thing is first. Writing down those things which you want to change and how to change them. Change always begins with you, and you alone. Granted I always suggest having a buddy system. For the longest time I let my depression take over; I was afraid to tell anyone... I may have whined and moaned, vented, you name it. But not once did I admit to myself or others I was severely depressed. Part of me was ashamed to admit this. I should have never felt this shame or been afraid to take care of my own well-being by simply stating hey I have depression, and I need your friend.

That right there is self sabotage if  you ask me! Not seeking help, not asking for it, or letting those who love you know what's up. I wish I would have spoken up sooner. So if you are silently suffering as you read this do yourself a favor, talk to someone. We can only help ourselves, our problems, our issues, our health cannot be changed until we take charge. Taking charge sucks! But I think it gets easier as you go along and have success.

So for this week I am working on rectifying some of my most horrid self sabotaging habits. One of them includes nervous/ stress eating or not eating at all. My new goal this week is to eat with purpose( for health, for my endo) and to create a schedule- I need to eat at the same time everyday or at least around the same time. Instead of putting on the pity party because the hubs is gone to Korea- mind you most of the time I pretty positive; I concentrate on our good memories and the present as best I can. But I have my moments.

I also plan on working relaxing and de-stressing. Can I call stress another one of my monsters? Stretching, Yoga, meditation, and Chakra work are in order. Maybe some crystal therapy? I have some ideas! So now I will pose the question... What are you going to do to stop self sabotage?

~Lexxy~

~Stay tuned next blog post is on Fasting- an LDS perspective~

A Gospel Principle- The Sabbath Day

When I was younger before having my stent away from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I attended church every Sunday and thought for the most part I knew what it meant to keep this day holy. Turns out I was wrong! Even when I was in the exploratory  stage of my spirituality experiencing other paths I always held Sunday near and dear as the day of rest.

Now that I am going back to church  and attending Gospel Principles during Sunday school I am learning more than I ever did when I was a young perhaps stubborn teen ( yes very stubborn).  A real quick tidbit on Gospel Principles... it is the class for new members or investigators of the church. It covers the basics of the gospel. The foundation of our beliefs in the LDS church. Even when a lesson topic is familiar to me I am grateful for this invaluable class and what we learn each Sunday.

Returning to church is really starting all over. Being inactive as we call it often leaves a person forgetting some ( not all) of the gospel and so I made the decision to attend the class till I know I am ready to move forward to Gospel Doctrine. I figure a back story was needed before continuing on to the topic of the Sabbath day.

I love the first question in our church manuals. The first question is what is the Sabbath day? I was dumbfounded as I stared at this question! My mind went blank! I thought to myself this day is a day I am very familiar with but what is the day about? It is a day of rest. In the beginning the Sabbath day was the day that Heavenly Father rested from creating the earth. He had six time periods that he referred to as days in the bible and the seventh time period ( or day) he rested and blessed this day as a day of rest and worship. ( for scriptural reference see Genesis 2:2-3)

Along with this; the Savior's resurrection is  also commemorated. He arose on Sunday and thus the Sabbath is on Sunday. If you look up the Sabbath it was originally on Saturday and was changed to Sunday when Christ was risen. Which makes absolute sense to me. There are scriptures that also back this up Acts 20:7 and Corinthians 16:2.

Anyway, we covered the origins of the Sabbath day ( the history) and then moved on to the purpose. In the manual it states that the Sabbath day was made for our benefit. It is a day we can solely concentrate on directing our thoughts and actions toward the Lord. We can ponder spiritual matters, read our scriptures, visit friends and family, perform acts of charity ( as would Christ who healed people on the Sabbath day). We can discuss what we learned in Sunday school, invite a friend to attend church with us. Give away a Book of Mormon. It seems like the possibilities are endless.

Which leads me to a question I reworded so I could journal about it:

" What can I do to improve my efforts to keep the Sabbath day holy?"

I gave a list of things we can do on Sunday that keep it holy. Some people would argue that some of these are not in the spirit of the Sabbath. And well I will argue that point! Which I already did really! Like Christ healing... as a christian I seek to follow Christ and His example. So if the Savior healed and helped on the Sabbath, me doing the same would be perfectly okay.

In the LDS church we are asked to rest from our daily labors like work when we can, there are some jobs that call for us to work such as doctor or nurse. Keeping the Sabbath in your mind and heart throughout the day is a way of keeping it Sanctified, keeping it holy even with work. Luckily I get to rest from my labors. We don't do any work that we would do during the week save for feeding times for the animals. There are things that will always have to be done, but this is allowed. My grandma always said this though " Saturday is the day you get ready for Sunday" ( It is also a children's hymn song).

I am a strong believer in this. While farm chores like feeding the animals is something we have to do. We can prepare on Saturday to get things in order and then concentrate on the Sabbath more fully. in the manual it says we could ask ourselves these questions:

" Will it uplift and inspire me?"
" Does it show respect for the Lord?"
" Does it direct my thoughts to Him?"

Not once when I was growing up did I really do this! I was so used to Sunday and how we did things that I did not once remember to ask myself these questions. I want to write these on an index card so I can be aware. What can I do to uplift my soul on Sunday? Pray, attend church meetings.What can I read to inspire me? Church manuals and the scriptures, along with other church materials ( like the Ensign magazine) I can listen intently to the talks( Sacrament) and lessons ( Sunday school and Relief Society) for inspiration as well.

 I feel like these are the meats and potatoes of it all these simple questions. They cover a broad spectrum. I didn't answer each and every one, but I  am sure you get the idea ( smiles). These questions can help me draw closer to the Lord and feed my soul. I believe as I try to keep the Sabbath day holy that I will be blessed. In our lesson we are told that blessing both temporal and spiritual are ours. Sometimes we won't be aware of these blessings.

For me the biggest blessing of the Sabbath day is partaking of the Sacrament and renewing myself for the week. I can take that time during the administering the sacrament to remember the Atonement. To think about what Christ did for me. That right there is a blessing .

I know I haven't covered as much as I could on the Sabbath day. It's a little late but I want to start blogging about my faith and more about my life. I thought each Sunday I could go over what I learned in church. If you have questions comment and I will answer the best I can.

~Lexxy~